"Don't be a realist. Our world needs dreamers. Be an incurable optimist. And see your reality change. See it change beyond what you can imagine."
- Auriela McCarthy

To visit Auriela's Website click here: Auriela McCarthy

Monday, July 21, 2008

Honoring the 12th Anniversary of the International Day of Forgiveness.

First, the wonderful news I have recently received.
The 2008 New York Book Awards has announced its winners.

The panel of judges reviewed books in 4 different languages published over the period of 8, 5 years ( January 1, 2000 to mid 2008.)
and awarded The Power of the Possible with An Honorable Mention!

I couldn’t fly to New York for the celebration which was on Saturday, June 28 in Central Park, but - I was thrilled at the news!

Which brings me to the next subject. The reason I couldn’t go was because I had been incredibly busy getting ready for the celebration of
The 12the Anniversary of the International day of Forgiveness
which this year is on August 3rd.

Those of you who read The Power of the Possible or listen to my radio show on www.webtalkradio.net know how much and how often I write and talk about forgiveness. I do it because I have come to a profound understanding that forgiving and letting go is the only way for us to be free of whatever had happened in the past that is still causing us pain. We will never be free otherwise. No matter how many successes we have created nor how good it all looks on the outside. Deep inside - something will be missing. We will always feel as if we are wearing a mask afraid to be found out.

I’ve come to understand this deeply, on a gut level through my own personal experience and also through the experiences of those around me - friends, family, clients…

I also know that the very idea of forgiveness is still surrounded in controversy. Can everything be forgiven? Where do we draw the line? Some people get incredibly angry at the very mention of forgiving, believing it must be earned, deserved, asked for.

Does it really? Here is something to think about:

One woman, a victim of horrendous crime, said to me that she had forgiven her abuser out of selfish reasons. “I simply couldn’t go on living with this pain inside me,” she said. I had to let it go.
“You did it out of self-love,” I said. “This is not selfish. This is courageous and powerful.”

Another woman, a survivor of an indescribable abuse, told me that the experience had turned her into a raging, dangerous person that she had been for many years. When decades later she began to understand that her own destructive behavior was the result of what had happened to her in the past, she also began to see the probability of similar (or worse) things having happened to her abuser as well, making him capable of that level of cruelty.

And while this does not excuse anything, it makes understanding and therefore forgiving and letting go more attainable.

“We are all capable of everything under different circumstances,” she said. “To deny it is to keep perpetuating the cycle of violence.”
Both these women had found their healing through understanding of their own humanity. Both of them made a choice to forgive. Both of them have become the advocates of forgiveness. And if anything had to be earned, they had earned that right. They had forgiven their abusers and they had forgiven themselves

Themselves??? But they were the victims…
Haven’t you noticed that no matter what happens to us – we always blame ourselves first? Asking the same question again and again: “Why did it happen to me?” “What could I have done differently?”

Just think about it. I know you will agree.

And let me tell you something else that you already know:
Revenge brings no healing and no peace. An eye for an eye hasn’t worked in ages. All of it simply continues the same circle of pain. Time doesn’t heal all wounds, like they promised us. But forgiveness will.

There will always be accountability and consequences to actions, but this is a different matter.
Yet, only forgiving yourself leads to not repeating the same mistakes.
And only forgiving others leads to finally being free from what they had had done to us. So we stop carrying them on our backs every minute of our days.

And while you are thinking about it make sure you read my next blog where I will tell you about the most exciting event taking place on August 3d in which you can participate. The next blog is an invitation!

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