- Auriela McCarthy
I was talking about feelings...what happens when we suppress the "difficult" ones. Deny our anger, refuse to feel rage, avoid and deny hate...?
(Did I say "hate"? Yes, I did. Hate comes up, for all of us. Just read the news sometimes. Read about what goes on in some places in Africa, see the photos. learn the facts...)
We don't need to justify and explain what we feel, we just need to feel.
And - let go.
Which is easier said than done, because most people have spent their lives teaching themselves the opposite:
trying to manage life while avoiding their feelings.
Of course, it comes with a very high price:
Needlessly long suffering, physical illness, chronic fatigue, struggle, lack of success or lack of lasting success... And also with lack of clarity, inability to make decisions or act on the decisions made...loss of relationships ... The list is long.
We needed to be taught this starting with kindergarten. But we weren't. It wasn't on the curriculum in grade school either. And yet - knowing what to do with the feelings we feel is one of the essential skills for life.
I am going to speak about it again, live.
On the evening of Thursday, May 31st, in Mill Valley, Ca.
If you live around here, do come and do bring your friends. I promise it will be worth your while! You will leave with at least 3-4 things you can begin to use right away. Probably more.
When I talked in Santa Rosa, people left with pages of notes.
The talk is called:
"Using the Phenomenal Power of Your Feelings for Unstoppable Success."
click here for details
For those of you who don't live in the Bay Area of San Francisco - worry not! I have decided to follow my intuition (and your emails) and teach an 8 Part telephone class:
"A Step by Step Map to Clarity, Prosperity and Peace."
If you decide to join me in this 8 weeks class, get ready for your life to improve in ways beyond what you can imagine. Yes, it's true.
We will start in mid June and everything will be recorded. Watch your inbox for my emails and I will send you the details soon.
* * *
And now, as always, this week's Food for Thought.
I went on a couple of trips this month, among them, one to Portland on a family matter, where I also had a chance to hang out with my old clients and friends I haven't seen in 5 years.
I got to spend time in one of the most amazing book stores I have ever seen, I went to a 2 pm dance on a Sunday to accompany a dear friend where I saw people in their late 70ies and 80ies kick it up on the dance floor with such pizzazz and grace it made my heart sing!
Watching them dance I couldn't help but notice a beautiful woman whose every movement and every smile seemed to emanate light. She looked to be in her late 60ies, maybe early 70ies.
As luck would have it, we were introduced. She pulled me into her embrace, wrapped her strong arms around me and held me for a few seconds. We smiled at each other. We began to talk. Before long, she was telling me her story.
She was 84 years old, a widow 3 times, she had been coming to this club for over 15 years, and...she had lost her daughter to cancer but a few months ago...
I gasped, but she waved away my "I am so sorry...",
a genuine movement, not a fake one.
"My daughter had such a great life! she said.
"She did EVERYTHING she wanted to do. Everything. She just went for it. She traveled everywhere she wanted to go, she didn't let anything stop her...
"And she was a great person. She touched many lives. I am so proud of her. There were several hundred people at her memorial service, so many people brought cookies..."
At this, she broke into laughter and proceeded to tell me more about the cookies...
I did a double take.
Was this conversation for real? To be talking about cookies at the memorial service while having just lost a daughter you loved so dearly? To have her be taken from you by cancer so early... and...to be so filled with joy?
Was it denial, the first stage of grief? Was it the way the woman was coping with her unimaginable loss?
Or was her light-heartedness real? Coming from a place of deep peace, a sensing of a deeper mystery behind everything?
The more I listened and watched, the more real she felt to me.
Was it truly possible to transcend your grief that fast?
She invited us to her home and I had a chance to spend more time with this remarkable woman.
Yes, she was genuine, and yes, she WAS celebrating her daughter's life. There was no sadness, no quickly brushed away tears, no suffering, no hidden sighs.
In fact, she was celebrating LIFE, pretty much all the time. Without effort, without reminders to self to focus on the positive.
She simply saw her life and ALL LIFE as a miracle, and she was grateful for every moment.
She was 84 years old, vibrant, alive and fabulous.
She was saying YES to everything.
There is no moral to this story. I know that each one of you will draw your own conclusions.
For me, two things stand out.
1. How much joy she drew from the fact that her daughtergot to do and to experience everything she had set out to do.
That she had said "yes" to herself, took risks, had adventures, acted on her dreams, had courage to pursue them and did not postpone anything.
2. The true joy this amazing woman has been exuding with her very breath. And not in spite of adversity, but as a state of being.
Here is something I learned:
If you want to experience Joy, real, effervescent, contagious joy, you have to allow yourself to feel (and to feel deeply) everything else that also comes your way.
You can't numb the so-called "difficult" feelings in favor of the "good" ones. It doesn't work this way.
If you avoid feeling something that's hard to feel, for example, anger, rage, hate, hurt, pain...if you stuff them or deny you even have them, this denial will spread to all else.
And it will be impossible to feel deeply happy, serenely peaceful, joyously loving...and all the rest of the wonderful, fabulous, amazing emotions available to us, human beings, to experience.
I am certain that this 84 year old, 3 times widowed mother of a daughter who has just died of cancer stumbled on this truth long ago.
When hit by loss, she felt the pain of loss, when hit by rage - she felt the fury of rage...
But she didn't stay there. That's how she was able to get to the other side. That was the secret to her happiness.
The difficult feelings are ALWAYS followed by the light ones.
That's why we have a saying "there is light at the end of the tunnel."
Think about it. Come to the talk, if you can. Here is the link to the flyer one more time. just click here
If it feels right, please, forward it to your friends and family.
All for now,
Love and blessings,
Visit The Power Of The Possible Site Here:
About Auriela McCarthy
Auriela McCarthy is the author of an Award- Winning bookThe Power of the Possible,a book of Hope and Inspiration.The book's Foreign editions include India, South Korea, Turkey, Denmark, Nigeria and Italy.Often called a Modern-Day Spiritual Dear Abby, Auriela is a mystic, with both feet planted deeply in the common sense. She has been helping people from all walks of life as a spiritual mentor, a teacher, a guide and a relationships expert for over 15 years.
In 2008 Auriela originated the movement: The World Wide Call to Forgive.
This call is sounded once a year on the International Day of Forgiveness, when thousands of people around the world join in to synchronized Forgiveness Meditations.