It was my birthday this week, and I am feeling so happy! So grateful for my life!
I spent the morning just basking in gratitude. It was a wonderful day!
Thanks to all of you who know me personally (or through FaceBook), and have sent me the Happy Birthday wishes. I was answering the phone and emails all morning on Wednesday and it dawned on me the way it never did before - we are all SO CONNECTED! We are more connected than we can even comprehend at this time. I am beginning to get a glimpse of it. WOW!
My dears, in case you'd like the links I sent in the last blog again, I'm putting them in this blog, too.
Here is the link to the recording of my talk at the New SuperWoman Summit:
go here to listen
This recording teaches (among other things) a very powerful and effective way to get out of feeling overwhelmed (if and when it happens.) And it does, to all of us:).
You will also learn what you can do to quickly get yourself in shape emotionally if you are, say, on the way to an important meeting, or a date, or a job interview and are feeling anxious, or scared, or terrified...not the way you want to show up.
These are the techniques I have been using in my own life, endless times over the years. They work!
If you are at a place where you need help with direction, a bit of guidance as to how to move on, clarity about the next step in your life... pretty much anything that can be covered within an hour's time - do fill the application below.
They call me the Spiritual Dear Abbey for a reason:):):)...
I can't take many of these calls simply because of time, but I will do my best to make it happen for you. People often have amazing Miracles right on the call. Like getting a set of new eyes. Suddenly, doors open, new opportunities show up. I extend you my invitation!
click here to see the application
And now this week's Food for Thought.
I have been working with a client who has recently taken a few courageous steps towards expanding her business and as a result is having wonderful success. The success however came with the price she didn't expect.
It feels like a painful price to pay, and it is.
Let me explain.
A life saving surgery is painful.
Telling your adult child who has comfortably settled "back at home" to get his own place and make his own income is painful. A long overdue break up of a relationship that's not working is painful...
The list is long. You know what I am talking about.
There are many things we have to do at times that are difficult, but right. Looking back, we often see them as "the best thing we did." My client was dealing with one of those situations. In her case, it was the old "crabs in the bucket" phenomenon.
I wrote about it a few year back. When I mentioned it to her she had no idea what I was talking about.
There and then I pulled up my old blogs.
We read the blog together and it was so right on I decided to publish it here again.
Enjoy!
I am sure there will be a situation or two in your life where this applies ( or did in the past.) Or you may know someone who is dealing with this right now. Please, pass on this newsletter. Just click the "Forward" link at the very bottom. You will find many people thanking you for it.
Here is to your success and happiness!
Today's Food for Thought is about "Crabs in the Bucket."
A true story.
A friend of mine who has been able to move past the hurt and anger and rage she had been feeling about the way her relationship with her lover ended is beginning to feel good again.
No longer is she hating the man's guts every waking moment, no longer is she burning with the need for revenge...no longer is she dwelling in the past, clenching her fists, remembering how awfully she has been treated...
Instead, she is suddenly - very happy. She feels free again, she is able to focus on the future, she is feeling gratitude for so many wonderful things in her life. She is even thinking of quitting her job, perhaps starting her own business.
After so many tears and sleepless nights, is feels like such a miracle not to be in pain any more! She is overjoyed, thrilled with how she is feeling. It's been a very long time since she felt so happy. But when she shares with her fiends, their response is - silence.
They don't believe her.
They think she is lying to herself and that she needs to tell herself and them "the truth": how badly she really feels.
"You need to vent," they tell her. "Go ahead, keep venting, don't hold back, we are here for you."
Venting. Such a charming word. A euphemism for blaming and for staying in righteous anger.
They all met for lunch the other day and this is where that conversation took place.
My friend left feeling frustrated and lost. And angry at her girlfriends, women she had know all her life.
She doesn't want to see them anymore, she is also torn...
Why am I telling you this?
Because what I have just described is not uncommon.
"The crabs in the bucket" phenomenon.
Have you ever seen people gathering crabs on the beach? Do you know that they never put a lid on the bucket where they keep their crabs?
They don't have to.
Because as soon as the second crab is inside the bucket, one of the crabs will make sure the other one stays put by pulling it down every time it tries to get out!
Now imagine there are more than just two crabs at the bottom of this bucket. Say, now there are 5 or 10...or perhaps a whole bunch of them crawling around, bumping into each other, unable to get out.
Is it a happy place? Is this where they want to stay?
Well, you may say, they have company, they are no longer alone, they belong, they can make friends, share their stories...
Yes they can.
And they can whine and complain about how they hate people who put them there, how they hate being in the box, how unfair life is to crabs.
And guess what? They will always find a sympathetic ear as long as they are in that bucket.
And as they cry and complain, they distract themselves from what comes next: a slow and painful death.
Because they are all on the way to being cooked, aren't they?
Or sold and then separated and then - cooked?
Denial is a powerful mechanism. Even crabs are using it. Denying the fact that they have lost their freedom as soon as they found themselves in that bucket.
And now imagine that one of these crabs decides: enough! I can't breath in this crowded place. There is not enough light and not enough space for me to move. I will get out of here! I want my freedom back.
What do you think is going to happen as this crab begins to crawl up, muttering on its way: "Sorry guys, I love you, but...I no longer fit here."
Immediately, the remaining crabs will move together to pull it back down! "Not so fast! Who do you think you are? We are not good for you anymore?!"
The crab metaphor is obvious.
If you've made friends with people who like to bitch about everything and everyone, if you have joined their club and have been "happily bitching along" about how life is unfair, the boss is a jerk, how you can't trust men, or women, or anyone for that matter, how it is "impossible to make money these days"...what happens when you suddenly wake up?
Suddenly, you are not fun anymore.
Not only are your "friends" not interested, they mock you, they don't want to listen, they encourage you to go back to the way you were.
Why?
Because you no longer fit with them. And they will try to do everything they can to bring you down to be your old miserable self again.
Just like crabs in the bucket do. Miserable, but together.
But let us give these friends the benefit of the doubt.
Because often times, they are not bad or malicious people. They are simply people in pain. They have not yet found the way out of that prison, and they are scared of losing you.
Also, your courage to change and to lift up to a higher resonance is a reminder of what they won't deal in themselves. And so - they pull you down.
This is what is happening to my friend.
And now she has 2 choices:
Leave the friends she no longer fits with and step into the scary, unknown territory of a new life
or - go back and keep the so-called friends and continue as she was.
The former takes courage, and trusting yourself.
The latter is simpler. It does not require much, except you - giving up on yourself.
But Auriela, isn't it so cold? So unfeeling? How can you suggest that she leave her friends? They might have been there for her all her life?
My answer is this.
If they are really good friends, they will change their reaction and support her in her growth. And if they won't, perhaps it is time to leave them behind.
Is it cold and unfeeling? Hardly.
There will be sadness, there will be grieving and there will be loss... And she will feel what comes for her - and she will let it go.
She may be alone for a while. There are no guarantees in life.
Keeping these old friends that keep pulling her down comes with a price. Too high a price, in my opinion.
That price is self-abandonment.
Is it worth paying?
You tell me.
Here is the quote I love:
"There are always risks in freedom. The only risk in bondage is breaking free." Lazaris.
Breaking free can be really scary.
There are no guarantees you will ever make new friends, that your new life will work, that you will get what you wanted...
It is much safer in the bucket. "It may be hell, but it's home."
Would anyone want to leave security for the dangerous, unknown terrain of freedom?
Just look around you. Think of the people you admire most. Every one of them has done it. And every one of them has been afraid at times. Sometimes - more than other times. Still they acted!
They went ahead even when they didn't have all the answers. And they have built the lives they dreamed about, blazing their trial for the rest of us.
They forged their own course and in the process - found themselves.
And the moral?
You are not here to get everyone's approval, nor are you here to be liked by everyone.
What are you here for?
The answer is yours to find.
I will give you a hint: You are here to find happiness, to create it for yourself, consciously. You are here to learn how to have fun! And to live the most amazing and joyous life.
A life-long journey. The most unselfish and loving thing you can do.
How come? Think about it. Find the answers. They will be life-changing for you.
Or - you and I can talk about it. It will be especially meaningful if you happen to be facing a life-changing decision. (click on the link at the end of this letter and I will do my best to make it happen. hopefully the link works this time:).)
Also, do write to me, share your stories, ask your questions. I want to know you, I want to see how I can serve you more.
There are many people who are subscribing to my newsletter. This touches me, and it is my great wish to get to know you personally. It may take me a few days to respond, but I always do.
All for now.
Auriela's Links
Visit The Power Of The Possible Site Here:
www.PowerOfThePossible.com
If you would like to join our mailing list
just click this link:
I would never give your information to anyone.
About Auriela McCarthy
I spent the morning just basking in gratitude. It was a wonderful day!
Thanks to all of you who know me personally (or through FaceBook), and have sent me the Happy Birthday wishes. I was answering the phone and emails all morning on Wednesday and it dawned on me the way it never did before - we are all SO CONNECTED! We are more connected than we can even comprehend at this time. I am beginning to get a glimpse of it. WOW!
My dears, in case you'd like the links I sent in the last blog again, I'm putting them in this blog, too.
Here is the link to the recording of my talk at the New SuperWoman Summit:
go here to listen
This recording teaches (among other things) a very powerful and effective way to get out of feeling overwhelmed (if and when it happens.) And it does, to all of us:).
You will also learn what you can do to quickly get yourself in shape emotionally if you are, say, on the way to an important meeting, or a date, or a job interview and are feeling anxious, or scared, or terrified...not the way you want to show up.
These are the techniques I have been using in my own life, endless times over the years. They work!
If you are at a place where you need help with direction, a bit of guidance as to how to move on, clarity about the next step in your life... pretty much anything that can be covered within an hour's time - do fill the application below.
They call me the Spiritual Dear Abbey for a reason:):):)...
I can't take many of these calls simply because of time, but I will do my best to make it happen for you. People often have amazing Miracles right on the call. Like getting a set of new eyes. Suddenly, doors open, new opportunities show up. I extend you my invitation!
click here to see the application
And now this week's Food for Thought.
I have been working with a client who has recently taken a few courageous steps towards expanding her business and as a result is having wonderful success. The success however came with the price she didn't expect.
It feels like a painful price to pay, and it is.
Let me explain.
A life saving surgery is painful.
Telling your adult child who has comfortably settled "back at home" to get his own place and make his own income is painful. A long overdue break up of a relationship that's not working is painful...
The list is long. You know what I am talking about.
There are many things we have to do at times that are difficult, but right. Looking back, we often see them as "the best thing we did." My client was dealing with one of those situations. In her case, it was the old "crabs in the bucket" phenomenon.
I wrote about it a few year back. When I mentioned it to her she had no idea what I was talking about.
There and then I pulled up my old blogs.
We read the blog together and it was so right on I decided to publish it here again.
Enjoy!
I am sure there will be a situation or two in your life where this applies ( or did in the past.) Or you may know someone who is dealing with this right now. Please, pass on this newsletter. Just click the "Forward" link at the very bottom. You will find many people thanking you for it.
Here is to your success and happiness!
Today's Food for Thought is about "Crabs in the Bucket."
A true story.
A friend of mine who has been able to move past the hurt and anger and rage she had been feeling about the way her relationship with her lover ended is beginning to feel good again.
No longer is she hating the man's guts every waking moment, no longer is she burning with the need for revenge...no longer is she dwelling in the past, clenching her fists, remembering how awfully she has been treated...
Instead, she is suddenly - very happy. She feels free again, she is able to focus on the future, she is feeling gratitude for so many wonderful things in her life. She is even thinking of quitting her job, perhaps starting her own business.
After so many tears and sleepless nights, is feels like such a miracle not to be in pain any more! She is overjoyed, thrilled with how she is feeling. It's been a very long time since she felt so happy. But when she shares with her fiends, their response is - silence.
They don't believe her.
They think she is lying to herself and that she needs to tell herself and them "the truth": how badly she really feels.
"You need to vent," they tell her. "Go ahead, keep venting, don't hold back, we are here for you."
Venting. Such a charming word. A euphemism for blaming and for staying in righteous anger.
They all met for lunch the other day and this is where that conversation took place.
My friend left feeling frustrated and lost. And angry at her girlfriends, women she had know all her life.
She doesn't want to see them anymore, she is also torn...
Why am I telling you this?
Because what I have just described is not uncommon.
"The crabs in the bucket" phenomenon.
Have you ever seen people gathering crabs on the beach? Do you know that they never put a lid on the bucket where they keep their crabs?
They don't have to.
Because as soon as the second crab is inside the bucket, one of the crabs will make sure the other one stays put by pulling it down every time it tries to get out!
Now imagine there are more than just two crabs at the bottom of this bucket. Say, now there are 5 or 10...or perhaps a whole bunch of them crawling around, bumping into each other, unable to get out.
Is it a happy place? Is this where they want to stay?
Well, you may say, they have company, they are no longer alone, they belong, they can make friends, share their stories...
Yes they can.
And they can whine and complain about how they hate people who put them there, how they hate being in the box, how unfair life is to crabs.
And guess what? They will always find a sympathetic ear as long as they are in that bucket.
And as they cry and complain, they distract themselves from what comes next: a slow and painful death.
Because they are all on the way to being cooked, aren't they?
Or sold and then separated and then - cooked?
Denial is a powerful mechanism. Even crabs are using it. Denying the fact that they have lost their freedom as soon as they found themselves in that bucket.
And now imagine that one of these crabs decides: enough! I can't breath in this crowded place. There is not enough light and not enough space for me to move. I will get out of here! I want my freedom back.
What do you think is going to happen as this crab begins to crawl up, muttering on its way: "Sorry guys, I love you, but...I no longer fit here."
Immediately, the remaining crabs will move together to pull it back down! "Not so fast! Who do you think you are? We are not good for you anymore?!"
The crab metaphor is obvious.
If you've made friends with people who like to bitch about everything and everyone, if you have joined their club and have been "happily bitching along" about how life is unfair, the boss is a jerk, how you can't trust men, or women, or anyone for that matter, how it is "impossible to make money these days"...what happens when you suddenly wake up?
Suddenly, you are not fun anymore.
Not only are your "friends" not interested, they mock you, they don't want to listen, they encourage you to go back to the way you were.
Why?
Because you no longer fit with them. And they will try to do everything they can to bring you down to be your old miserable self again.
Just like crabs in the bucket do. Miserable, but together.
But let us give these friends the benefit of the doubt.
Because often times, they are not bad or malicious people. They are simply people in pain. They have not yet found the way out of that prison, and they are scared of losing you.
Also, your courage to change and to lift up to a higher resonance is a reminder of what they won't deal in themselves. And so - they pull you down.
This is what is happening to my friend.
And now she has 2 choices:
Leave the friends she no longer fits with and step into the scary, unknown territory of a new life
or - go back and keep the so-called friends and continue as she was.
The former takes courage, and trusting yourself.
The latter is simpler. It does not require much, except you - giving up on yourself.
But Auriela, isn't it so cold? So unfeeling? How can you suggest that she leave her friends? They might have been there for her all her life?
My answer is this.
If they are really good friends, they will change their reaction and support her in her growth. And if they won't, perhaps it is time to leave them behind.
Is it cold and unfeeling? Hardly.
There will be sadness, there will be grieving and there will be loss... And she will feel what comes for her - and she will let it go.
She may be alone for a while. There are no guarantees in life.
Keeping these old friends that keep pulling her down comes with a price. Too high a price, in my opinion.
That price is self-abandonment.
Is it worth paying?
You tell me.
Here is the quote I love:
"There are always risks in freedom. The only risk in bondage is breaking free." Lazaris.
Breaking free can be really scary.
There are no guarantees you will ever make new friends, that your new life will work, that you will get what you wanted...
It is much safer in the bucket. "It may be hell, but it's home."
Would anyone want to leave security for the dangerous, unknown terrain of freedom?
Just look around you. Think of the people you admire most. Every one of them has done it. And every one of them has been afraid at times. Sometimes - more than other times. Still they acted!
They went ahead even when they didn't have all the answers. And they have built the lives they dreamed about, blazing their trial for the rest of us.
They forged their own course and in the process - found themselves.
And the moral?
You are not here to get everyone's approval, nor are you here to be liked by everyone.
What are you here for?
The answer is yours to find.
I will give you a hint: You are here to find happiness, to create it for yourself, consciously. You are here to learn how to have fun! And to live the most amazing and joyous life.
A life-long journey. The most unselfish and loving thing you can do.
How come? Think about it. Find the answers. They will be life-changing for you.
Or - you and I can talk about it. It will be especially meaningful if you happen to be facing a life-changing decision. (click on the link at the end of this letter and I will do my best to make it happen. hopefully the link works this time:).)
Also, do write to me, share your stories, ask your questions. I want to know you, I want to see how I can serve you more.
There are many people who are subscribing to my newsletter. This touches me, and it is my great wish to get to know you personally. It may take me a few days to respond, but I always do.
All for now.
With Blessings and Peace,
Auriela.
P.S. Just a reminder:
Here is the link to the recording of my talk at the New SuperWoman Summit.
click here to listen
And here is the link to apply for a complimentary directional talk with me.
click here to apply
P.P.S. If you are enjoying this newsletter, please, forward it to your friends and family, to those who you think is looking for this information.
Auriela.
P.S. Just a reminder:
Here is the link to the recording of my talk at the New SuperWoman Summit.
click here to listen
And here is the link to apply for a complimentary directional talk with me.
click here to apply
P.P.S. If you are enjoying this newsletter, please, forward it to your friends and family, to those who you think is looking for this information.
Visit The Power Of The Possible Site Here:
www.PowerOfThePossible.com
If you would like to join our mailing list
just click this link:
I would never give your information to anyone.
About Auriela McCarthy
Auriela McCarthy is the author of an Award- Winning bookThe Power of the Possible,a book of Hope and Inspiration.The book's Foreign editions include India, South Korea, Turkey, Denmark, Nigeria and Italy.Often called a Modern-Day Spiritual Dear Abby, Auriela is a mystic, with both feet planted deeply in the common sense. She has been helping people from all walks of life as a spiritual mentor, a teacher, a guide and a relationships expert for over 15 years.
In 2008 Auriela originated the movement: The World Wide Call to Forgive.
This call is sounded once a year on the International Day of Forgiveness, when thousands of people around the world join in to synchronized Forgiveness Meditations.
www.AurielaMcCarthy.com
With Peace and Blessings,
Auriela McCarthy
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