I Said I Was Sorry and I Didn't Die

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A School of Hope and Inspiration

Hello dear friends,

I am writing this from New York. My son and daughter-in-law are about to have their first child. And I am about to have my first grand daughter!!!!!
Not sure how I feel about the "grand" part of the word, (don't laugh) but I am definitely sure I am going to adore her!

Since I am going to stay in New York for at least a week, our next Tuesday class ( July 7th) will not take place.

I am so very sorry to miss the class and I know I will miss you all.

I definitely plan to be back in time for the following Tuesday, July 14th.
Stay tuned.

I know so many of you are waiting for the promised Internet webinars.
We have been a bit stuck on the technical side of things.
But we are very close now. It is all in the process and it is coming.

I am so incredibly excited to have made it to New York on time, before the girl is born.
I wanted to be there when she comes. The hospital is 10 minutes by cab from where I am. I am writing this expecting my cell phone to ring any moment...

* * *

So here we are, waiting...They are in the hospital, I am in their apartment, "on call." The girl is taking her sweet time, she has her own plan for the arrival. I personally am convinced that the time and place of birth is never random. Nothing is, of course. How naïve would it be to think that while we are still "on the other side," we don't calculate every detail of our birth including day, time and geographical location.
Why? So we can have our personal astrology precisely aligned with what we intend to do on the planet: aligned with our focuses and plans for this lifetime.
I know I am standing the risk of losing some of you right now and you may be considering clicking on "Unsubscribe...."

Wait.

Remember: there once was a time we believed the Earth was flat. We also believed the Newtonian physics of cause and effect was the only way anything happened...Today, quantum physics and "The Law of Attraction" are becoming mainstream...Along with all kinds of things metaphysical, so vehemently dismissed only a few years back.
One of my favorite quotes:

"All truth undergoes 3 stages. First, it is ridiculed. Then - it is vehemently opposed. And finally, it is held to be self-evident." Schopenhauer.

Well, Auriela...if you are saying we choose every detail of our birth prior to our birth, does it mean we also choose our parents????
Sure, we do. ( I thought you'd never ask.)
Absolutely.
I know this brings all kinds of feelings, if you have never considered this possibility. Relax. This is GOOD news. I won't go into the "whys" and "how come" now. This is too important a subject and deserves its own time.

We will be covering it in great depth at the School, and I will write about it separately. For now - take it as more food for thought. See where it takes you.

With one caveat.

If your childhood was far from wonderful, don't rush to make yourself "stupid" or "crazy" for your choices. Have the humility to accept that you may not know or understand all the reasons now. Trust that you will, in time.

I can be off to the hospital at a moment's notice and stand the risk of not finishing this letter, I decided instead to share with you something I wrote some time ago. It is one of my favorite subjects. Enjoy!

The School of Hope and Inspiration

Tuesday, July 14th

Gathering: 6:30PM -7PM
Class: 7PM - 9:30PM

We will meet at the same location in Southern Marin.
email RSVP for address and directions.

Auriela@AurielaMcCarthy.com

Here is this week's story and Food for Thought.

Some time ago I ran into my friend - I'll call her Annie - at Peet's Coffee. Before long, we were having our cappuccinos and chatting.

"Remember we talked about letting go of our need to be right?" Annie suddenly asked.
Of course I remembered. I have written an entire book about it.
Every story in the The Power of the Possible in one way or another talks about it:
Stop trying to have the last word. Stop trying to prove your point.
Let go of needing to be understood. Become understanding instead.
And - keep your relationship instead of destroying it one fight at a time.

"Whenever you are wrong, admit it, whenever you are right - shut up". Ogden Nash's tongue-in-cheek and yet so right-on advice on marriage comes to mind.

I try to live by it...

And yet, sometimes it still is difficult to bite my tongue (pun intended.)
This is when my husband might suggest something like "You should read your own book!"
Not the best time to tell me this. ButJ. You teach what you need to learn.

Back to the story.

"I had an amazing experience," Annie tells me sipping her coffee.
"The other night I was at Jack's place and he showed me something
that was very important to him. And I immediately criticized him.
I just began to correct him on everything. And I hurt his feelings.
I saw that right away because he became very quiet and withdrew.

Normally I would not have backed off. I would have continued to push.
But I stopped. I remembered our conversation about giving up the need to be right,
and I did something I have never done before in my life.

I said 'I need to take some time alone.'
And then I sat on his sofa with my eyes closed for 20 minutes .

I made myself relax, and I saw how inappropriate I was. How judgmental and hurtful.
I didn't like what I saw. I tired not to judge myself for it. And I felt remorse.
Then I opened my eyes, and apologized to Jack.
I told him that I was really sorry and I meant it."

"What did he say?" I asked.
"He began to cry. He said it was the very first time in his life that a woman apologized to him and admitted that she had been wrong.
And as he was wiping his tears he was thanking me.
This was when I started crying myself. I felt so close to him, my heart just opened.
After that we just sat there for a long time holding each other's hands and not talking.
I don't remember being so vulnerable before. It felt so good not to be right."

"He had a huge healing of the heart, didn't he?" I said.
"He did. And I did too," Annie said. "We have gotten much closer after that."

I thought about it on my way home.

Who can't relate to being certain that you are right and that
the other person HAS to get your point?

And how hard it can be to have clarity when you are blinded by your emotions and won't think!
(which happens to also affect your Self-Esteem. Read my previous newsletter.)

In fairness, it's next to impossible to think and feel clearly right there,
in the moment. That's why pause is genius!
Say "time out." Go to another room. Calm down. Honor yourself
and your partner by doing this.

Now - think.

If you do, you may surprise yourself. Suddenly - everything will look so different...

You will have 2 options.

1.To judge yourself as a "bad" person, which will stop all process of healing and change,

or

2.To do what Annie did:
Admit to yourself you made a mistake. Don't go into shame or pride.
Feel genuine regret for your behavior. Forgive yourself - you are simply human. Decide to not act this way in future
and then - for God's sake - just apologize!

You won't die or be struck dead. I promise.

Say you are sorry and mean it. And unless you are dealing with a monster who is just waiting to take advantage of your vulnerability, you will be amazed at the miracle of love and closeness you will experience with each other.

(And if you are with a monster - what on Earth are you doing with that person?)

More food for thought.

All for now.

Have the happiest 4th of July!
This is such a wonderful cause for celebration.
Celebrate Freedom! And celebrate Your Life! You are here, you made it. You can think, you can feel and you can act.
You can hope and you can have a Future filled with Possibilities.
Let it in. It is a wonderful thing.

I am sending you all my love,

Auriela.

P.S. Follow your intuition and if it feels right,
forward this to your friends or your family members.

P.P.S. If you don't live in the San Francisco Bay Area, stay with us through this blog and keep sending me your questions.
I am planning to do this work via Internet at some point.
I will of course let you know when it happens.