A lot of you joined me on the call at the New SuperWoman TeleSummit on March 16 where I gave my Unique 4 Step Formula: From Overwhelm to Empowerment.
Thanks so much for joining me. Wasn't it fun?!!!
I also want to thank all my new readers and listeners, so many of you, who signed up for my newsletter after the call. I may need to use my formula myself because your response has been so overwhelming!:).
To those of you who couldn't be there, here is the link to the recording of it.
http://instantteleseminar.com/?eventid=27489576.
You may want to download it so it is easily available because there is a technique for handling your emotions I shared on the call that you don't want to miss.
And here is the link to apply for a complimentary assessment session with me: http://aurielamccarthy.com/assessment/
Here is something I want to talk to you about.
It is both Food for Thought and an Invitation.
This may not be for everyone, but please, read it anyway. If it is not for you - then it is great news!
Perhaps you know someone who can benefit from what I am about to say. If so, forward it to them, please.
So here we go.
This letter is for those of you who have tried and failed and tried and failed to make your love life work.
For those of you mystified by "love passing you by..." watching your friends' happy marriages, wondering "why not me?"
Are you still hurting?
Are you afraid to have your heart broken one more time?
Not sure you can trust again?
Holding yourself back, waiting for the soul mate who never shows up?
If you ever had a love relationship go wrong, this letter it for you.
If in the course of your life, one after another, every one of your relationships ended badly, this letter is for you.
If you are currently in a relationship or marriage that is not making you happy, this letter is for you.
This is for you if you are thinking about leaving.
If you have been thinking about leaving for as long as you can remember yet have done nothing about it.
If you are not sure what to do, and feel lost, stuck, angry or depressed.
If you believe your great love story happened "back then"... in college, (or high school) when you were young...
Does any of this describe your life?
Are these the questions that are keeping you awake at night?
If so, listen.
I am speaking to you.
Many a sleepless night you have wondered why...
Told yourself you were better off on your own because what's the point? It never works anyway and it's too damn hard..
There were even times you believed these thoughts...for a few moments...
But the ache in your heart remained.
The longing remained.
And also - the questions.
Why?
Why did it happen to me? Why does it continue to happen, each and every time?
What am I missing?
What am I doing wrong?
Hold it right there.
If these are not rhetorical questions and you do want to find out - read on.
One thing is obvious. There is more to LOVE than falling in love.
Figuring it out, figuring out your own personal dance with LOVE so that you can dance it better...it is a challenge, isn't it?
It also happens to be the main reason we are all here.
Have you ever watched a professional dance competition? Couples doing a waltz, gliding across the floor in one smooth motion?
It looks so effortless and easy, doesn't it? A thing of beauty, it catches your breath, brings tears to your eyes, moves you beyond words...
Inspired, you decide to go dancing as soon as you can.
But when you and your partner step on the dance floor and the music starts...unless you are a practiced dancer, what happens?
Do I even need to describe it?
What looked so easy and effortless is hardly so.
You step on each other's toes, you don't dance to the music, your instincts ( the ones you were sure would be enough) are all wrong, you keep missing the beat, one of you can't lead well, the other one can't follow, it's probably your partner's fault, not yours, right?
If you only had a different partner, the one who could actually dance (!!!)...embarrassed, angry you leave the dance floor. Who needs that!....Maybe with a different partner...???
Forgive me for simplifying. But what a good analogy.
The dancers that glided on the floor so smoothly... They did take lessons. They wanted to dance well, they made it important, they made it matter.
And so they put themselves out there, they studied, they worked with dance teachers, attended dance classes, they practiced learning the steps, being patient, correcting their posture, learning how to step in sync, how to follow and how to lead...
How silly it would be for anyone who never took dance lessons to complain about being a poor dancer.
You want to dance well, go take lessons and learn how.
In view of this analogy, (forgive me for pointing the obvious yet again) how crazy it is to expect to be good at loving,
to be good at something so complex, so intricate and so multidimensional WITHOUT LEARNING HOW???
And yet, it is an expectation, isn't it? And if you fail at it, it hurts like hell.
It hurts more than you could ever imagine, doesn't it?
Ever wondered why? No, this is not obvious either. There are many other things we fail at that don't hurt as much.
What you may not know is that Loving and Being Loved is humanity's deepest, Core Need.
It is a High Need, not a needy need.
The Need to Love and Be Loved lies beyond Maslow's hierarchy of needs, and it feeds all of them.
That's how we have set it up on this planet. That's why it is important to learn to do it well.
And that's why failing at it hurts so deeply.
We all need love, like we need air and water and food. It is not a preference.
We need love because it feeds our Souls.
Romantic one-on-one love is just one expression of this need. Not everyone chooses this expression. Some do, some don't.
We have a choice here. Where we don't have a choice is whether or not to need love.
Every soul on Earth needs to have love in their lives.
That's why ANY break in love cuts deep.
Your adult daughter not taking your calls...
You, unable to fall asleep after a fight, a knot in your stomach, your back to your husband or wife...
You, still seething at the very mention of your mother...and it has been 10 years since you last saw her...
You again, still clenching your fists at the very thought of your ex...
I am not saying take them back into your life, become lovey-dovey, if you have reasons not to.
I am saying: learn how to truly leave this behind and walk away free, so that your past doesn't pollute your life, because it does, as long as you still carry it...
Learn how to forgive, learn how to let go...and ACT upon your learning.
More "obvious" things, I know. But have you done it?
Can you honestly say there are no skeletons in your closet that keep you on your proverbial toes? Making you careful about that thing called "love"? Affecting your spontaneity, your trust, your courage to start again?
Here is the thing:
Yes, starting again can be scary. As is - not starting again. Neither will work as long as you are motivated by fear.
Instead: Resolve to learn how to love.
There is nothing embarrassing about it. Has any one of you been really taught how to do it and taught well?
Did you have good role models?
So go to school. Find someone who can show you the ropes, someone who can teach you things you may not yet know about love. So that when it comes again you can dance with it differently.
Just the other day I witnessed yet another couple end their relationship.
By the time they turned to me for advice the rift between them had gone too far. Sadly, I too saw that it was over.
Sometimes, things that go wrong are allowed to go wrong for way too long.
Too much hurt happens, often for both people. And they lose their way to each other.
Too many tears are shed, too much anger gets swallowed...
Too many fights or arguments that lead nowhere never get resolved...
And suddenly - it's over.
Too late to fix or change anything. Something snapped.
Somewhere in the midst of all the fights and all the silences something very important died.
And all the kings horses, and all the kings men can't put this Humpty-Dumpty back together.
Listen.
There really is a way to prevent this or - not to repeat it yet again.
I wrote about this in great detail in The Power of the Possible. Specifically in the last Chapter: When Love is not Enough,
p.240 and on. I have always thought this last chapter is the most important one in the entire book.
An interesting fact about Self Help books (even though The Power of the Possible is technically not of this category) is that regardless of how great the book is, the last chapters often don't get read.
If this is the case with you and you have the book on your shelf, hurry up and read this chapter. (ou can always get the book on Amazon.com if it's not yet in your library.)
You may find the ideas illuminating. Especially where I talk about the 3 Fears that come with any relationship. These fears are very destructive and - you can't escape them. But you can learn what to do about them so they dissipate.
Those of you who know me know that for at least 25 years I have been on what can be called a Love Quest.
When it comes to most any issue around love, I have touched it, felt it, tasted it, lived it...and I learned, learned and learned.
The learning of course never ends. In the process, I have gained a lot of wisdom around love.
And because my life today is steeped in the most exquisite expression of love I have encountered,
I continue to follow my bliss, and - my blessing.
By sharing what I came to know.
Sometimes all you need is the right information. A new understanding that will change everything.
It is my firm belief that having the right teacher or guide to help you understand the information better is essential.
I have always made this my priority and I have been blessed to learn and to keep learning from the very best Masters.
I want to extend you an Invitation.
Watch your inbox for my newsletters.
Very soon you will be receiving an invitation to a TeleCourse I will be teaching on line:
The working title is When Love is in the Air... (I suspect the title will change.)
It is a step-by-step weekly course that will be an eye-opener and a life-changer. It will run once a week for 3 months.
90 days is not a long time. And yet the difference these 3 months will make in your life will be mind-blowing.
You've sighed and wondered and asked and doubted and hoped for way too long.
Stand up now. Show up for your life!
Show up for Yourself!
Stop waiting for the Soul Mate.
You've closed that door long ago and threw away the key.
Let me show you a secret. The secret that has been hidden in plain sight all your conscious life. So you can thrust that door wide open without ever needing the a key...
Exciting? Oh, yes. It is so exciting to me I have been teaching this class in my dreams. No, I am not kidding.
There are still some technical pieces to be put in place so that everything gets recorded, transcribed and is easy to access and download. You will be able to join and follow regardless of your time zone.
In the mean time, for those who would like some one-on-one contact with me, there is an opportunity to apply for a personal complimentary assessment consultation.
It is NOT a personal consultation. But it is a time on the phone with me directly to help you determine what would serve you best at this time in your life. I am only able to offer this for a limited time and to a few people. To apply and to make the most of your time with me, you need to fill the application.
Here is a link to it: http://aurielamccarthy.com/assessment/
As you know, I am known to many as the Spiritual Dear Abby. Jean M. House, formerly of NBC-TV, gave me this knickname and it stuck. If you and I get a chance to talk, you may just find out why:)!
I want to show you a different dance of Love. A dance with Love that doesn't end in another heartbreak.
There really are a few quite clear rules (for lack of a better word) that if followed will redeem even the worst love dancer,
and if not followed will lead to disaster. Every single time.
More often than not, these dos and don'ts are again - not obvious.
I will show them to you, if you let me. The rest will up to you:).
All for now,
With Blessings and Peace,
Auriela.
P.S. Just a reminder:
Here is the link to the recording of my talk at the New SuperWoman Summit: http://instantteleseminar.com/?eventid=27489576
And here is the link to apply for a complimentary assessment session with me: http://aurielamccarthy.com/assessment
P.P.S. If you are enjoying this newsletter, please, forward it to your friends and family, to those who you think is looking for this information.
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